Better Cruel Than Creepy

Dear Reader,

Are you up for a bit of soul searching?

If yes, and in line with the title – in questionable taste, I agree – please consider this – what would you rather be – cruel or creepy?

(I acknowledge that the human psyche can comfortably accommodate both in perfect synergy, but answering “all of the above” is not an option.)

Source: Click here.

To be more specific, would you slaughter, skin, dismember, etc. a cute and fluffy baby animal to put on your plate as food, or would you rather opt for in vitro meat, grown as cell structure in a jar?

Food. No apologies. Source: Click here.

That’s right, cloned Frankenfood is still another brainchild, alongside the Third Gender, of Political Correctness, aka the modern-day global totalitarianism. Woe to you, if you refuse to take this road to Hell, attracting travellers with its rosy tiles of good intentions. You will come across as a conservative upholder of cruelty and environmental pollution, and a spoke in the wheel of social progress. There.

…Not that I want to nitpick about this excellent idea – meat in a jar – but, before embarking on any such large-scale experiments, I’d suggest that molecular biologists take a culinary and meat butchery class, so as to be able to grow separately rumps, chucks, briskets, sirloin steaks, ribs and shanks. Or else, in a few decades’ time humanity would have to say goodbye to meat dishes such as the Osso Buco, the Boeuf Bourguignon, or the good old gelatin-dense meat bouillon. 

Someday, this knowledge will sink into oblivion. Source: Pinterest.

Another option would be to consider growing meat on short and sturdy yield-boosting stalks, like the dwarf wheat, whose development – the result of heavy cross-breeding and genetic manipulation – has, as a side effect, resulted in a significant increase of wheat gluten levels, that have been making people sick. 

Agribusiness multinationals could try bringing food growing costs even further down by growing all parts of a well-rounded meal on the same plant, branch for branch. Wheat, tomatoes and a T-bone steak all in one place, for example, how cool is that? 

Not all funny stories of the children’s books can be turned into reality, though people keep trying. Book is Birliban by Czech writer Eduard Petiska. Source: Click here.

Further, I’d recommend growing animal skin in a jar too, as otherwise humanity would have to replace with plastic masquerading as leather such items boosting one’s style quotient as handbags, shoes, belts and gloves. Apart from smelling divine and being awesome to the touch, leather is also very environmentally friendly and ethical, as it can be recycled, is sturdy, can be polished and mended and thus – has a considerably longer period of useful life compared to PVC. I’ve been using the same leather handbag since 2013 and still adore it – good luck trying to use a vegan bag that long. I shudder even more when I think of shoes – are all homo sapiens going to wear trainers and synthetic-fibre tracksuits…? Oh my. 

Think whatever you like of me, but I’m so not giving up on leather accessories.

Replacing animal husbandry with molecular biology does not care at all for the well-being of farm animals, simply because it is aimed at making them extinct. Back in the Neolithic age, farm animals started being domesticated so as to be eaten, and not be kept as pets. Being eaten is THE cause of their existence – I’ve never heard of anyone rearing a herd of sheep for the fun of cuddling them or making them fetch a tennis ball. 

Close down animal farming, and all farmers will flock to the cities to look for a job. Animal rights activists should train as career advisers so as to be able to help. 

Three Little Men by Estonian Eno Raud, part one. For some reason, all rats from one city get stranded on an island, leaving the city cat population unemployed and hungry. An elderly cat-loving lady starts buying all the city’s milk to feed the poor hungry cats, thereby leaving no milk for the children. I do see some vague thought-provoking parallels to abolishing farm animal slaughter on ethical grounds. Source: Click here.

In addition, all those mawkish claims of people going vegan because they’ve seen the goriness of animals being slaughtered, comes across as daft and hypocritical to me. Giving birth or performing surgery on humans is gory and rather bloody too, but there aren’t calls for banning either on these grounds, are there? Propagate similar ideas and don’t act surprised if the highly-trained hands and minds of surgeons suddenly start getting replaced with AI robots, for the sake of safeguarding surgeons’ rights of not being exposed to the goriness of your inside, which isn’t all that pretty, I can assure you. Still, I suppose you’d like that taken care of when needed rather than not, correct?

The human heart actually looks much less attractive than this. Source: Click here.

So, instead of crying over the fate of hens that keep running after they’ve been decapitated, try ringing up your neighbour or checking up on your co-worker – they might be sick, in pain, desolate, or have money troubles. Reaching out to another human is much scarier than fighting the cause of doomed farm animals, isn’t it… By the way, this is how obsessive disorders work – they displace one’s attention from a real problem, i.e. alienation, onto an imagined one, that is perceived as easier to tackle. Something to think about, I guess. 

Give up meat, and in the long run, the human jawline is likely to change significantly too. We will drop our canine teeth and will perhaps start looking more like cows and horses, so as to be able to chew on more grass per unit of time. Nature takes things rather literally and won’t fail to adapt to our changed diet, whether we like the result in the mirror, or not. 

Source: Click here.

So I say, if anybody wants to eat in a certain way for whatever reasons – more power to them. Also, by all means, let’s provide farm animals with enough room to move and let’s feed them in an ethical way. 

But let’s not play God and alter the way the world has been ticking for millennia. We are much less smarter than we think, and much more arrogant, and cowardly, than we care to admit.  

The world is no place for sissies,

PS. Musical greeting for you – may not have made it into the Billboard Top 100, but is surely very appropriate. It is, after all, not important what enters the mouth, but what comes out of it, right?